Forgiveness and Healing
Is there a connection between forgiveness and true healing?
I had the strangest thing happen to me last week. A very, very dear friend called me to tell me that she had been thinking of me and two words came to her mind (there were actually four words, but bear with me on that for a bit). The two words were “healing” and “forgiveness”, and she told me that she saw them as connected.
Well as someone on a journey of healing, she certainly had my attention. But what did it mean? I was totally in tune with the “healing” part and I put out a quick little “hope it comes soon” prayer, but the “forgiveness” part didn’t come to me so quickly. As I thought about it further, I realized that I have actually heard many variations of the same phrase over the past couple years, the phrase being that “true healing comes with forgiveness”. Okay great, I’ve heard it a few times but I still didn’t get what it meant for me. So I sat back and started thinking about what this could mean. Truth is, I actually sat back and meditated, quieting my mind and acknowledging any thoughts that came to mind in the process. While the thoughts came somewhat randomly, they seemed to tie in together.
When I thought about healing, I thought about health and happiness being tied together. It seems to me that for most people that are expecting a new child, their thoughts are almost solely focused on wishing for a happy, healthy baby. If we step back and look at it further, I think most would agree that one of our biggest hopes is for a healthy, happy life. As time goes on, we start to focus on other things, and many times the things we focus on are somewhat materialistic, at least in the developed countries. When people start to lose their health, I think these thoughts become a bit more prevalent in their life. I know they certainly are for me, I think a lot about health and happiness now. One of the random questions that came with this connection was “does health bring happiness, or does happiness bring health?” While I don’t know the answer, somehow the two seem very connected.
A number of other thoughts that came to mind focused on true healing, healing of the root cause of conditions rather than dealing with symptoms. “Healing and dealing” has a certain ring to it, maybe that will be a book title some day. I was in the grocery store on the weekend and I overheard a conversation where one lady was talking about switching to a dairy free diet and the gentleman she was talking to was talking about how he USED TO have debilitating rheumatoid arthritis. I walked by, then had a real urge to go back and join the conversation. So I did. The gentleman told his story about finding a natural way to deal with his pain, and how he had been transformed from living in chronic pain to now being able to do whatever he wanted to do, virtually pain free.
He pointed me to a couple of web sites that I checked out over the weekend, the primary one being “Phoenix Tears”. I encourage anyone who either has dealt with dis-ease or chronic pain, or knows someone who is or has, to check this out. This web site and video talk about how someone has found a cure for many types of dis-ease (he actually calls it a miracle cure), and can’t bring it to market because it has been deemed illegal. The product is “hemp oil”, and before you start thinking about everyone being happy and healthy because they’re walking around in a state of marijuana induced euphoria, that’s not what this is about, even in the least. In the video, he talks about how the base product has been used as a medicine for over 2000 years. The reason nobody knows about this is because the product has been deemed illegal for distribution based on the same laws that make marijuana illegal for distribution. Before I go on a rant, let me leave this with the reader to pursue if they wish.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the people in the video and this fellow I met in the supermarket without coming to the thought of “anyone in chronic pain would want that”, followed quickly by “I want that”. I have seen many other stories where scientists and other people talk about how our health care system focuses on dealing with symptoms rather than healing the root cause of dis-ease. Each of the stories I’ve followed talk about the fact that there’s so much money being made by the companies that provide the drugs that there is no real impetus to change their approach. The side story to this is that any natural approach to medicine cannot be patented so there is no desire for pharmaceutical companies to explore options like the one highlighted in this particular web site.
So what emotion do you think came to mind when I saw the possibility of a cure for something that I am affected by being kept under wraps? What emotion would you feel? I think the obvious emotions would be anger, disgust, maybe even hatred. And I’ve gone through those. And guess where it’s gotten me? I’m in the exact same position as before. I’m in chronic pain, believing that there has to be a solution, and it’s just out of reach. The anger, disgust and hatred are doing absolutely nothing to serve me.
I had to ask myself a question. Have I ever done anything for the almighty dollar without thinking or caring about how my actions would affect others? Will the first person that can truly answer “no” to that question please contact me. I’m pretty sure we’ve all done this in some capacity, whether it was intentional or not. Many of us have worked for companies that have a primary focus on making money and being profitable, and they’ll do what it takes to be successful. That’s what they’ve been trained to do. Why shouldn’t pharmaceutical companies (or oil companies, banks, etc.) do the same thing? That’s a tough question. For me or anyone else to think that we are going to be able to solve these problems coming from a position of anger, disgust and hatred is probably naïve at best.
What’s missing in all of this? I think what’s missing is a realization that we are all in this together, and that if our actions were truly based on the “greater good”, we might have a way of changing the thinking. If the “greater good” is about amassing wealth and putting more money in people’s pockets, then change may be difficult. If the “greater good” were a focus on health and happiness for all of humanity, then imagine what could happen.
What if?
- What if we realized that we are all part of a community, and that the health and happiness of the community was more important than the wealth of a few?
- What if we chose to abandon the thoughts of anger, disgust and hatred, instead turning our thoughts to forgiveness and our actions to making a difference?
- What if we decided that we didn’t have to “play small”, that even the smallest actions we take could make a difference?
- What if conversations like this that are taking place in people’s kitchens start getting larger and louder?
- What if everyone believed in causes and movements like “Phoenix Tears” and stood up for the causes, would things be forced to change?
And maybe where this is where “forgiveness” comes in. Today I am choosing to forgive. I’m not condoning, but I am forgiving. I forgive, and I move forward. And every day, I do whatever comes to mind to do my part to make a difference.
Oh, by the way the other two words that my friend said came to mind when she was thinking about me were “activist” and “triumph”. Somehow it feels like I’m moving in the right direction. Somehow it feels like I’m forgiving and healing. Somehow I think there are going to be a lot more posts encouraging people to stand up and make a difference.
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Namaste, Ken
Written by Ken
Ken Jaques describes himself as a Health Care Evolutionary, Community Builder, and Speaker. True healing begins when we treat root causes instead of just masking symptoms. Diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA) in 2008, Ken has experienced many facets of the health care system. As “the only patient who ever lost their hair on this low of a dosage of chemotherapy” – as spoken by his rheumatologist – Ken has been on an amazing journal of self-discovery, a journey of true healing. In his blog, Ken shares stories of how his beliefs have changed over the past few years, and how they are still changing. Is it possible that our bodies can heal themselves? Do we really have to live without hope after we receive a chronic illness diagnosis? These are the types of questions that Ken encourages people to ask themselves as they embark on their own physical or emotional healing journey.
Ken is creating a platform to connect People, Patients, Practitioners, Partners and Promoters, enabling a collaborative effort to help shift the focus on health from I-llness to We-llness. Check out the pilot at www.myHealthyCommunity.ca.
“When ‘I’ is replaced with ‘we’, even I-llness becomes WE-llness” ~ Malcolm X
Ken, I loved this post and appreciated your honesty and willingness to share where you are on your journey. I definitely believe that healing happens when we truly forgive ourselves!!
Thank you Minette. And I agree with you that the true healing happens when we forgive ourselves. I think many people find that a lot harder to do than one would think. We seem to find a way to forgive ourselves for one thing, then turn around and be hard on ourselves for something else. Forgiveness is an ongoing journey, one worth travelling.
This is a really thought-provoking post, Ken. Glad to connect through the UBC.
Love the contrast you draw with forgiveness and then bring it back to the unbreakable tie of forgiveness and healing and how the connection we all share is one that ties us all together in our forgiveness and healing (or lack of it) .
Have a great week
Thanks Steve,
Have a great week as well. I’ll be watching for your posts on UBC.
Namaste, Ken
I believe that forgiveness is a big part of healing, no matter if it’s physical or mental healing that we are looking for. Forgiveness for what has happened heals our soul, does not mean we forget, it just means we forgive so that we can move forward with our lives
Thanks Katrina,
Very well said. Like I mentioned in a comment above, forgiveness is an ongoing journey.
Namaste, Ken
Sometimes, I think, it is ourselves we need to forgive. We get angry at ourselves for getting sick, losing a job, having a setback of whatever kind. The truth is – we don’t control everything and we need to be kinder to ourselves. I know I do! Thanks for doing what you do Mr. Jaques!
Thanks for the kind words Maryann, and I agree with you that we need to be easier on ourselves. If any of our friends talked to us the way we talk to ourselves sometimes, they wouldn’t be our friends for very long. Forgiving ourselves is something we can do at any time, a highly recommended activity :-).
Namaste, Ken
Ken, amazing words. I am going to pass this on to some leaders I know in the Pharmaceutical world – we are all in this together as you said.
Angela
Ken, as always… thank you for this post, Forgiveness and Healing. May I say it seems to be missing it’s predecessor; Pain. Though you didn’t mention it here, I know you’ve spent time in his company. How else could you have been introduced to Forgiveness and Healing? I believe that before you get to meet the other brothers, Forgiveness and Healing, you need Pain, the protagonist/host.
These three always travel together and if ever they’re separated things go out of alignment – out of order. When that happens it makes one veer off the road making either a hard left or right taking you away from the center – your internal/spiritual course of travel. Then once there you, the individual, have to spend whatever amount of time needed to redirect and get back on course to the fluidity of the soul.
I know, I know… you’re probably asking why I see Pain as a hero – of sorts. He serves a greater purpose and is often overlooked. Pain’s purpose is to crack the shell of our current, limited understanding and make ready the soul for a proper introduction to Joy.
We all understand that good things happen to bad people, yes. What if we start viewing the bad things as another avenue to get us to the next emotional/spiritual destination? Have you ever wondered why they call it Growing Pains? When is growth comfortable? Regardless of the pain involved “growth” is sorely needed.
For example, take corn for a minute. You first have to rip its skin open, peeling back and stripping off the inner golden hair-like fibers to reveal the beautiful, golden flesh within. How many times in our own lives, have we had to endure a pain that revealed, nay cultivated, the beauty within us? My point is… Pain serves a purpose – it’s our alarm telling us there’s beauty on the other side. Know it, go through it, persevere, reveal and be introduced to that stronger, more beautiful YOU.
I Salute the Wake of Pain for these reasons and many more – Thank You.
Although there is no such thing as “perfect” there is such a thing as perfect for another; as in one having the right cogs required to fit the groves of another’s heart and emotional complexities. I believe that whatever experiences we’ve endured, though painful, in life prepares our hearts for another. It tempers our spirit, readies emotions, directs our souls to intersecting places and creates a sensitivity that’s required to appreciate and understand another’s heart. It allows us to meet their needs in that area of health and healing on even, fertile ground. In the wake of painful experiences lies a “perfected heart” – battle scarred and beautiful.
Thank you for being you… frail, candid and beautiful in whom you are today and who you’re becoming.
I thank God for the beauty pain leaves in its wake and the overwhelming joy it brings. The poet in me, at first, thought to provide prose of my own, but decided to acquiesce to another whose words are far more eloquent than my own.
It seems as if every person I know & love is struggling with something that is challenging them at their very core right now. For all of us, I offer this small dose of high-frequency wisdom from the poem that better salutes the “Wake of Pain” it’s The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do (note: I go from “p” to “P” referencing Pain, the Spirit, likewise for Joy.)
On Pain: Khalil Gibran
And a woman spoke, saying, Tell us of Pain.
And he said:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know Pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore, trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burns your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
Ken – thank you, again, for providing a platform for me to share my thoughts. =)
May Joy always find you – My two cents.
Hollywood W.S.
Wow Hollywood W.S.,
This response is so insightful and beautiful. And God knows that you’re right, in that I have experienced Pain (check out other blog posts including “The Wakeup Call Before the Wakeup Call”). Your words have really struck a chord with me. These are indeed Growing Pains that I’m going through and I already see a much different person coming out the other side. I hope your comments touch other readers as much as they have touched me, and I look forward to fuirther feedback.
Namaste, Ken
Kind Sir, YOU honor me and have put a smile on my face. THANK YOU!
May Joy always find you,.
Hollywood W.S.