Conversation With Your “Inner Fiend”
Have you ever had a conversation with your Inner Fiend?
In my last blog I asked if you had ever met your Inner Child, the playful part of you that doesn’t have a care in the world and believes all of your dreams can come true. Many of us have forgotten that our Inner Child even exists. In that blog, I suggested that I think our Inner Child is always there, but it just so happens that he has met some other playmates over the years and some of them are a little less playful. They constantly remind him about “reality” and suggest that things are just fine the way they are.
Have you met your Inner Fiend?
I have heard people talk about their Inner Critic but that seems a bit harsh to describe this character. I think our Inner Fiend is actually quite playful as well, but just happens to be very resistant to change. He likes things exactly the way they are because that doesn’t take any work. He can get up day after day and do the same things over and over, there is no fear of failure because he has become very good at the things he does repetitively.
I remember a number of years back when I was playing a baseball game in our Provincial playoffs. Our team got off to a terrible start, trailing by about 10 runs after only a couple innings. But we were a pretty persistent team, we just kept clawing our way back into the game, and by the last inning we were down by only one run. Our first player got a hit and then it was my turn to step to the plate. As I was walking to the batter’s box, my Inner Fiend started getting very chatty with me. He went out of his way to remind me that there were a lot of good hitters on our team but that I wasn’t really one of them. He suggested that I just do my best to not screw up. The first pitch came in and I took a feeble swing at it and fouled it off. “Strike 1”. I looked over at the batter in the on deck circle and he gave that look that indicated that he knew I could do better than that, then he practically screamed at me “Just hit it!” The next pitch came in and I did just that. I just hit it. And it sailed over the centre-field fence for a home run to win the game for our team. As I rounded the bases, I had this massive ear-to-ear grin on my face that stayed there as I touched all four bases. And as I landed on home plate one of my teammates looked over and called me “Cloud 9”. What a feeling! What an accomplishment for someone that was told over and over by his Inner Fiend that he wasn’t a very good hitter. And in that moment, I don’t recall hearing any commentary from my Inner Fiend, but I’m pretty sure he was cheering just as loud as my Inner Child.
When I compare our Inner Child and our Inner Fiend, it seems fair to say that our Inner Fiend is a little more talkative. For some reason he seems to feel lonely and is always trying to stand out and be the centre of attention. He is very comfortable with the status quo and is quite resistant to change. And the more I think of it, I have a number of friends that are quite comfortable with the status quo and are resistant to change as well. The truth is that many of us are probably somewhat resistant to change because we don’t really know what the result of the change will bring.
As a result of this resistance to change, our Inner Fiend encourages us to “play small”. And because he’s so much more talkative and boisterous, he drowns out our Inner Child that is reminding us that it’s okay to live life to the fullest and to fulfill any dream that we can imagine. He drowns out our Inner Child that is trying to remind us that every time we’ve fallen we have gotten right back up, and that whenever we have gone through any kind of change the outcome really wasn’t something that we couldn’t manage, and we were probably better off having gone through the change.
Can you imagine the conversation between the Inner Child and the Inner Fiend within an early butterfly? The Inner Fiend is chattering and taunting that it is very happy being a great cocoon and it’s probably the best cocoon in the field. The Inner Child which hardly gets a chance to speak just keeps having the dream of being a beautiful butterfly. When the transformation takes place, I’m pretty sure the Inner Fiend is also enjoying the ride.
So I don’t like to think of that character inside of us as a critic, I just think he’s a bit mischievous. And Fiendish. And I also think that we can have a conversation with our Inner Fiend.
Have you ever had a conversation with your Inner Fiend?
I think that the best way to have a conversation with your Inner Fiend is to be prepared to remind him of the accomplishments in your life. Actually take the time to write out a list of your accomplishments. First off, I think you’ll be surprised at how much you’ve already accomplished. But even more importantly, you’ll remind yourself that you do have the ability to accomplish whatever you put your mind to. The self-confidence that comes with remembering these successes is very uplifting as well. And every time you write down an accomplishment, the Inner Fiend has to acknowledge it as well. And every time you review and update the list with more accomplishments, the Inner Fiend has no choice but to acknowledge the success.
If you’re ever in a situation where opportunity knocks and you‘re resistant to opening the door because your Inner Fiend has gotten a bit chatty, pause and remind the little devil that you’ve been presented with opportunity before and you’re not going to let him stop you from seeing what’s behind this door. Remind him of an accomplishment or two and let him know that things are going to be just fine. He may be reluctant but eventually he’ll be a little less chatty and you might even hear from your Inner Child. You won’t know in advance what’s behind the door, and if your Inner Fiend talks you out of turning the handle and peering inside, then you’ll never know. So at that point, who will you listen to, your Inner Fiend or your Inner Child?
I believe we all have a magnificent story in us, we are our own version of the butterfly, ready to transform into our own magnificence. And the choices we make along this journey of life will determine how our magnificence unfolds.
Start the conversation. Who will you listen to?
If you’d like to share an interesting Inner Fiend story, send it along to [email protected].
Follow Ken on twitter at @kenjaques.
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